A bittersweet "before" picture of my son in his room doing what he is often found doing...creating music. This was shortly before his move out on his own. Over the years I had decided that "one day" that would be the room in the house that would be my new studio. That day seemed far away and was only something I imagined in my head..how I would arrange it etc. I didn't expect it would be available now. I really wasn't ready. But despite our dreams and plans for our kids they must make their own path whether we think they are ready or not...and despite our own heart's readiness. We can pray for them, love them, give them honest counsel but in the end their decisions and choices and all that goes with them must become fully their own.
Finding the balance as a parent can be an ongoing challenge. Letting go is hard. I am relying more than ever on God as I release my children to Him and open myself to all He wants to teach me as I let go. When you have experienced childhood wounding it can be a fearful thing to watch your child walk out the door into the world. But I hear God gently telling me to trust Him for their care. It never has been all up to me. Their path...like mine...will involve struggles, mistakes and trials as well as joys, successes and celebrations. It is in the divine mystery of weaving the beauty and the darkness that our lives are given depth and realness. I have trusted God for that weaving in my own life and now I am working on trusting God as He walks alongside my son.
I wrestled with feeling guilty as I took down some of the things he left behind soon after he moved out. Was it too soon...was this all premature of me? It took a little bit before I could allow myself to fully embrace the growing hope and joy I had for renewing this space and what it could mean for the next phase of my own creative journey. My husband (my talented foreman on the job) gave me the most beautiful Christmas gift as he began transforming the room for me. I wrestled with so many emotions throughout the process but it has been good for my heart to make it a place of new beginnings. I told my son I look forward to him coming home and creating music here. I hope one day the imaginations of my grandchildren will be nurtured and inspired in this room.
So I thought I'd share a few before pics as my husband and I work on my new studio. He is currently working on designing a work station for me in the large closet space. When that is done I look forward to sharing the "Big Reveal" photos with you!
So far the carpet has been replaced with wood floors, new moldings and the room given a fresh coat of buttercream paint. The work began to move everything in and play with the details of arranging the space. Already I can hear and sense so much hope in this room. New creative visions are stirring! Stay tuned for more pictures soon!